The Ponies are Moving in!
by Unique.Nom.De.Plume
Summary: God, I should be ashamed of this XD Chas is finally moving in with John. I can't even describe how terrible this is XD XD XD XD OOC CHASTINE! FLAME ME! I KNOW YOU WANNA!


"Is that everything?" John set the cardboard box he was holding down on top of one of the many stacks of boxes piled around the room.

"Yeah, I think so." Chas said, setting down his own box. "I'm so excited!" the curly haired boy clapped is hands together and skipped over to the older man.

"Yeah, now you'll be around to badger me all the time" John smirked and snatched the hat off Chas' head.

"Hey!" Chas grabbed at his hat, but John held it just out of the teen's reach. Chas watched as the exorcist placed the hat on one hook of a bare coat rack.

"Now it's official, Chas Kramer lives here." John smirked as the teen flashed him a huge grin before pulling the older man into a hug.

"Now all that's left is for us to get married!" Chas squealed and hugged John tighter.

"Yeah, a 40 year old and a 17 year old joined in holy matrimony, any priest would love to be the notary at our wedding." John half laughed and walked over to the box he just put down. "Better start unpacking now if we're going to get any sleep tonight." He said, tearing the tape that sealed the box.

"No! Don't open-"

"Good lord! You're kidding me!" John laughed uncontrollably, holding up a pink plastic pony with green and purple hair.

"Give me that!" Chas grabbed for it, but John, being significantly taller than the boy, held it above his head teasingly.

"You don't seriously collect these things do you?" Chas jumped and grabbed the pony out of the exorcist's hand. "How many of them do you have?" John managed to say through his laughter.

"Just a few." Chas said, brushing his fingers through the green and purple hair.

"A few! There's got to be at least ten in here!" John howled with laughter again. Chas blushed, clutching the pony to his chest.

"It's not that funny." he spat, his face growing even redder. John paused his laughter and looked amusedly at Chas.

"It's ok, I'm just teasing you." He ruffled his apprentice's hair affectionately. "We can even put them up on the shelf in the bedroom so they can stare at us while we're sleeping." John said, carrying the box of ponies into the bedroom.

--

"All I have left is this box of random crap." Chas picked up the last box off the floor.

"Why do you have a box of random crap?" John said, taking a drag from his cigarette.

"Just tell me where to put it."

"Put it under the bed or something." He said, putting out his cigarette in the ashtray on the table. Chas walked into the bedroom and got on his hands and knees next to the bed. He lifted the blanket and pushed the box under the bed. He eyed another box already under John's bed.

"Hmmm..." He mumbled, pulling out the mysterious box. It was a pretty big box. Bigger than his box of random crap. It had KEEP OUT scrawled on the lid in black marker. In Chas' mind KEEP OUT was secret code for CHAS PLEASE INVADE JOHN'S PRIVACY. He lifted the lid off of the box and broke out laughing hysterically.

"John you asshole!" Chas managed to scream between laughs.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" John snatched the box from Chas' hands.

"OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I THINK I'M GONNA THROW UP!!" Chas rolled on the floor laughing.

"Shut up asshole!" He kicked the laughing teen. Chas didn't even react, he was too busy laughing.

"John, I have three letters for you! W-T-F!?" Chas said, his laughter subsiding.

"What?" John raised an eyebrow.

"What the fuck man?" The teen giggled.

"What, you're the only one allowed to like My Little Ponies?" He mumbled, lifting an orange one with pink and purple hair.

"It's ok John, I'm just teasing you." Chas stood on his tiptoes to ruffle the exorcist's hair.

"Thanks." John said sarcastically.

"So..." Chas trailed off, looking in the box of ponies.

"So..." John mimicked

"Um... Do you want to play ponies?" Chas mumbled, barely audable.

"Yes." John mumbled back.

Soon all of their ponies littered the floor of the apartment. There were 26 ponies total, 11 were Chas' and 15 were John's.

"But Cloud Climber, I wanna come on an exorcism!" Chas- er, Coconut Grove said, following Cloud Climber behind a chair.

"You smell like Coconuts, the demon ponies would devour you in seconds." John- er, Cloud Climber said.

"So? I have wings, I'll fly away if I have to."

"For the last time, no! Stay on the scooter." Cloud Climber, with the aid of a large exorcist's hand, disappeared behind the chair.

"And to think, I could be driving around other ponies and making some money instead of sitting around here. Scootaloo will have my ass if I don't start taking more customers. I wonder why I even tolerate Cloud Climber sometimes."

"It's cause you can't resist me." The white winged pony appeared behind the scooter, having heard everything Coconut Grove said. "You love me" Their pony lips came together in an awkward plastic fashion that set their pony hearts aflame.

"I want you so bad Cloud." Coconut Grove whispered as Cloud Climber started kissing the pink winged pony's neck. "I love you Cloud Climber."

"I love you Coconut Grove."

--

Angela got tired of knocking after 10 minutes and decided to just come right in. She figured John was sleeping and hadn't heard her knocking. She stepped into the apartment and almost threw up when she saw what was sprawled across the floor of John Constantine's apartment. There were ponies EVERYWHERE and in the middle of them was John and Chas, both completely nude, curled up against each other and sound asleep. They each held a pony in their hand. Angela just stepped out of the apartment, went out on the street and thusly stabbed her own eyes out with a rusty spoon she found on the curb because the author hates that bitch.


End file.
